On the other hand, I discovered yet another use for those versatile, gigantic cleavers Chinese cooks use. I'll have to go buy myself one when I no longer live with a Chinese student I can borrow from.
So what, you ask, did the Christmas tree do to deserve such treatment? Well, it angered the Maser Laser Oscillator, clearly.
No, on Friday I went and picked up my first-ever real Christmas tree (my family has fake one older than I am), which I ordered from a charity for the homeless and picked up at my church. It's only 4 feet tall and shockingly light, so I carried it and a stand home without any trouble, only to discover that the base was just a teeny bit to big to fit in the stand. However, it had some knobs sticking out from the main trunk that if I could just shave off, it would fit...and out came B.'s kitchen knife. Turns out that sawing through a tree with a meat cleaver is actually pretty hard.
Eventually, though, I prevailed, and the tree is standing in its base. It felt a little ironic to go online after performing my impromptu tree surgery and google "how to care for a live Christmas tree." What I got was that it should be watered a little at the base and misted occasionally if the ornaments/lights allow. Which is why it is standing in a small pool of water in the stand. If this is miserably wrong and I'm going to breed mites or tree fungus in my kitchen, then please someone who's had a real tree before, tell me. But here it is! It makes me very happy.
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